Life Gets Hectic Sometimes
I’ve neglected this blog for far too long. I originally planned on moving over to my own server with an actual wordpress installation but that isn’t possible. I’ve come to realize that I need an outlet to write at any given moment during my day at work. Sure I can write in a journal (and I do) but it’s easy forget things like that and leave it on your desk. I’m not going to make any promises of daily, weekly or monthly postings. It’s going to be a whatever comes to mind and whats going on in my life that I’d like to share. Some one here on the web is possibly going through something that they can benefit from reading by stumbling upon this blog. Let’s bring everything up to speed.
I learned a lot about who I am and who I would have ended up becoming over the past two years. It took burning bridges, ruining friendships, being alone for quite some time to grow and mature to be the person God wants me to be. It was through that, that I learned who my true friends were. I had this false notion, this fantasy that anyone I was friends with in the past I had to continue being friends with them no matter what it took. I sacrificed my own happiness, to please them to always say “Ok, yeah sure” or “Ok I won’t do that”. I never took the liberty of thinking for myself and saying “No this is my life, I’m doing this”. In the end I should have let go and if they came back later on then I’d know that we were meant to be friends after all. I held a tight grip which ultimately eventually lead to the end of those friendships. While it may have sucked I am forever thankful and grateful that God used that as a tool to open my eyes to see that I needed to let go.
The past few months have been a quite interesting experience. For a while I was attending a church that I thought accepted me for who I am, but then quickly learned that people are heavily influenced by other people’s views. I was cut off and was eventually just told every Sunday “Oh if you want to come to, you can.” after minutes of discussion of people making plans in front of me and then just walking off. I soon stopped going, soon started to see that this isn’t how us as Christians are supposed to treat one another. It’s no wonder why many people view Christians negatively. I mean if I wasn’t a Christian and I saw this going on I’d want to stay away. But no matter what whether you believe in God or not these things happen it’s unavoidable. However as Christians we are asked to not treat one another like this and we always seem to fall short. Anyway’s I soon left and then a few months later God brought me to a church that was in the process of being “planted” so to speak. He put some incredible people in my life that truly accepted me, that has the compassion and love Jesus would have for others. We just launched on September 19th in Mountainside, NJ as Oasis Church. I am part of their media team running the worship and message presentations from the ProPresenter software. I’m also heading up on launching their Facebook page, it’s pretty much set to go but need to make a few minor adjustments. To be honest any time whenever I did media type things at previous churches I felt broken down and just not wanting to do any of it. My heart wasn’t in it at all, but here it’s different and I finally found a place to call my church home.
Over the summer I told one of my close friends that I was interested in her and to my surprise I found out that she was too. We decided to wait on it though and grow even closer especially because there was a lot going on at the time. In August we made it official and in a week it will be two months. Now here’s the thing, one and two months anniversaries aren’t a major milestone or anything. But in my eyes, it’s one of those things after whats happened this past summer that makes me think “Wow we’ve almost been together for two months, while it’s not big thing. It does show me how wonderful God is and how he put some one as beautiful and warmhearted as this girl is in my life.” and I actually think that a lot, but there is something about the day we started dating that makes it stand out more. I’m not going to lie it’s been difficult, very difficult. More so then her and I would have imagined. There are times where I’ve thought “God where are you in this?” or where I’ve felt like utter crap knowing we wouldn’t see each other for a while because let’s face it I miss her. But through God’s strength, and our trust and care for one another we will endure this. I’m keeping things vague for privacy reasons and maybe one day eventually I’ll talk openly about it. But my main point is that no matter what you are going through God is there and He will pull through for you. Much like he has with my girlfriend and I. So keep your head up, remember He is there even in the darkest times. It may not seem like it but he really is. Well time to go write another post, I was thinking of including another topic in this one but figured it was best to separate them.
