I’ve been sitting here for the past hour determining on how I want to write this entry. I already knew what it’s going to be about. But having allergies and all, I have not being feeling well so it’s taking a toll on me a bit. So please bare with me if I’m starting to go off on a random rant.
This past weekend started out what looked like to be miserable as it rained at the company picnic for a good 20 minutes to a half hour, maybe even more and then I had to deal with my allergy attacks later that night. However I made the best I could out of that Saturday. However I didn’t know what I was in for the following day at my cousins and my friends baptism, I was always supporting my cousin and my friend getting baptised and I just thought it would be another typical one. Ya know people go up, say something and then they get dunked. I couldn’t have been more wrong then that.
I got there with the family, my uncle had saved us some seats. With in about 10 minutes we were under way and the worship team began playing. After worship the baptisms began and the first person stepped up. They told their story, well actually they had their story or testimony I should say video taped and showed on the screens. At first I felt like this was the typical baptism as one by one most of the testimony’s were rather similar. However that slowly changed as more people went and were talking about drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. It was rathering touching and I couldn’t even explain these to those of you who are reading this. I hope they put them online just so you guys can see what I’m talking about, including my cousins. She even made a small shout out to me as she liked to call it in her testimony. Like I said I can’t even explain or describe these testimony’s during this service.
However what really swept me off my feet later on was the testimony’s from the last service as that was when my friends was. Again these testimony’s as well were showing them as who they were and showing that they too aren’t perfect! I would go into more detail but I’d pretty much be repeating what I said above with slight differences. Again though little did I know how much on an impact these really had on me.
Afterword’s I met this one guitarist who plays in a professional band but also plays for the worship team. I wasn’t expecting much as well here. We talked about guitars, the problems I’ve had with the person I bought my guitar from, my problems with the guitar, and my problems with Sam Ash. Out of no where he kindly offered to fix the problem I am having with the screw pulling out of my guitar as it requires quite a few things to repair it. He then told me about the free Set Ups Sam Ash is doing and told me that some one I know at Liquid is doing the free set ups at Sam Ash this weekend. It wasn’t till that moment that something just sparked and ignited inside me. I mean just all of this joy and happiness just overflowed into me. But it still didn’t stop there.
Shortly after I was talking to the pastor of our church and which was the first time I think I ever had a full conversation with him. It amazed me how he took the time to ask how I was and what was going which was something I never experienced at my old church. But the best part about it that really amazed me was how he was interested in what I had to say and just didn’t go “Oh ok well glad to hear that” and then just moved on. Now the conversation wasn’t anything special it was mainly about my major, how hectic things have been but still I’ve never actually had that kind of kindness.
It was then when I decided that I want to get back into serving, get back into going to Liquid Church, and so much more. Even today I still feel it and I hope this doesn’t go away. I know I have many faults and that I’m not perfect but I’m not going to let them hold me back. It’s ironic ya know I mean I kept inviting my cousin to Liquid and now here she is for the past few months has been inviting me back to the very place I originally invited her to. I would love to get baptised again but at this moment I know it’s not time for me to do so. When I got baptised the last time at my old church, I didn’t do it because I wanted to. I did it because one of my other friends was. I felt threatened by them and knew that when they did, they would get all the attention, praise, etc. I thought “I can’t let her have all the attention, I’m going to as well so I get it as well” which was such a selfish thing to do. I wanted it all to be about me and it’s taken me about 3 years to realize that and 6 years to realize that everything I’ve done at that church wasn’t just to help them out and get them some many benefits with a website and what not. But I also did it cause I wanted the attention, the whole “Oh look at him and how much he has done! He’s such as good person!” or “He’s such a Godly person” which both were not true in any way shape or form. There’s so much more to that and only a portion of my testimony, but my whole point of writing it is to show and say to everyone I messed up badly, and I didn’t do this for God I did all of this for my own selfish gain. This may change how people see me but that doesn’t bother me one bit cause it’s a part of my life story and I felt for the past few days that I should just come clean with those things.
